powerful hackers

There are seriously rival hacker groups cyber-battling to shut down v. keep open Microsoft and Sony’s worldwide online video game networks. Anonymously, without pay, because they want to. So that the masses can have their holiday fun. Outages cost millions of dollars to consumers paying for service they’re not getting, and to Sony and MS in lost sales due to their systems being down. This handful of anonymous volunteer hackers have a significant impact on corporate profits, and in many cases the hackers are more effective than corporate security teams. We are practically living in William Gibson’s future

https://twitter.com/AnonymousUK2015/status/548571351775469568

Getting Critique

I joined a writing and critique group. The writers in the group have a variety of experience but are all serious about what they do. Tomorrow I’m getting a critique of the first couple chapters of my novel. It’s exciting and a bit intimidating. The aim is to improve my writing and network with other writers and I think this is a great way to do it.

On Geek Culture

On Geek Culture

by Ian Williams

“What is Superman in the twenty-first century but a corporate mascot, albeit one with a lavish backstory?”

Yes! Excellent essay at the link above. Nerds/geeks/fans ought to be aware of where their money goes, who they’re actually supporting, and the policies and politics of those parties. It is impossible to live a-politically. Solely following your interests and forming no opinions on economics or sociocultural morality means you are passively supporting the status quo. I love science fiction, video games, Star Trek, Batman, lots of stuff like that, but too many self-proclaimed nerds/geeks act as though their lives and interests are insulated from larger issues in the world. This is not the case. It is important and wonderful to be passionate about a variety of media and fictional stories and characters, but please remember there is a world outside your fantasy, and be aware of how your fantasy fits into the larger world.

One thing the essay touches on but does not get into much detail about: in the last 5 years, there has been a huge increase in authors self-publishing, and in the prominence of small independent video game developers. The same is probably true for comics but I don’t follow comics closely enough to know much about this. Indies and self-published creators do not tend to have the obsessive fanbase of media monoliths like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Tolkien’s universe, Marvel and DC, Zelda, Mario, etc. If you are concerned about where your money is going and who you are supporting, look into the thousands of excellent stories, comics, games, animations, short films, etc. made by small creators paving their own way! Go cosplay or write fanfic or buy t-shirts for those characters!

Children of Snow

It’s been years since I’ve seen the snow
and all along what with it goes
Friends asunder disclose their ways
while chanting songs of better days
Grown up closer to the distance
understanding stories that fed us
Longing to believe it will all turn out okay,
what solace is knowing we were right anyway?

A jester and patrician
would love to live their lives together
but for magic wishing
the world is not enough

Feed through shattered glass, this too shall pass
like winds of enlightenment blowing right through me
Need the artifacts absent what was lost
Entropy conceptual belies change actual

Winter death and winter dream
both coalesce in unity
Sometimes the rusting links we pull
bear more weight than our losing loads
Complex heads make simpler plans
discordant with such harmony
Untitled odes to ghosts of old
promise remains from sea to snow

Sometimes a handshake grows into heartache
Knowing the pattern does not exempt the bearer
Some greens survive the desert through a shrouded patch of rain,
fortitude internal discovered….

A jester and patrician
would love to live their life together
but for magic wishing
the world is not enough

Brothers of never still flock together
Children of bad weather repudiate
So far our stories are writ in bone with heartbreak
When we finally move past morning we’ll allow our stones to sun-bake

Years from now a face will rise I once predicted lost to time
I know now as I did back then my sole doctrine’s ruling demise
The certainty of unpredictability sounds certainly lovely
And I’ll remember guessing forward, hoping that I’m aiming homeward

………….

I wrote this about five years ago. When I started a band, I performed it as a song–well, me and four other people performed it. But I like it just as a poem also.

re-discovering love for Star Trek the original series

I am watching through Star Trek: the original series for the first time since I was maybe 8 years old. I am enjoying it far more than I expected, and am repeatedly blown away by the writing and acting. In Season 1, episode 14, an officer on the Enterprise shows disdain for Spock since their Romulan enemies look similar to vulcans. Kirk tersely orders the officer: “Leave your bigotry in your quarters. There is no place for it on the bridge.” That’s a common sentiment in today’s sociopolitical climate, but this was aired 46 years ago. In December 1966, Martin Luther King Jr. was still alive, the women’s rights movement was new and controversial, and the US had just recently passed some civil rights acts, with more still to come.

In another great moment, this Star Trek episode depicts a wedding ceremony in which the officiator acknowledges the varied beliefs of the couple and those present. I don’t remember the exact words, but it basically validated various cultural and religious practices of the different people, without showing a bias toward or against any of them.

And finally, I think that William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, and DeForest Kelley are fantastic actors, especially when it comes to flashing a subtle facial expression to tell a deep story. Their characters are far deeper and more human that I had previously realized, and their camaraderie and professional relationships are developed well.

Will a publisher accept a novel that has previously been (partially) self-published serially online?

That’s my question, and it’s long enough that I’m having trouble filtering search results to find answers. I mostly find information on self-publishing, but what I want to know is: if I publish the first few chapters of my novel on my blog, will this make it less likely that a traditional publisher will accept my work? I have seen it said that a publisher is less likely to accept a novel that has been previously self-published, or completely self-published, in whole or serially, online. But I’m wonder how strict most publishers are about this and how far it extends. If I just post a chapter now and again to drum up hype, will publishers still discount my novel? Thoughts, anyone?

Done! (with this stage)

I finished editing Captive Illusions, which is book 1 of the novel series The Candy Saga that I’m writing. I am finally ready to share it with my friends.

For the most part, the book feels to me like it’s done. I’ve found my voice–the tone of the third person omniscient narrator. I know the personalities of my four main characters well enough to know how they speak–to get in character without much difficulty when I write dialog. But I want critical observations from other people–I know I need test readers. I am sending the book to some friends for review, and will seek other test readers. I think this is the stage at which I’m ready to seek out an agent, and perhaps editor, so as to eventually secure a publisher. I will have to look up more about the specifics of these processes. Time to scour back through those late-night bookmarks of agents’ websites saying, “Here’s a great query; here’s a terrible one.” Etc.

The genre of Captive Illusions is young adult science fiction romance, though I aimed to make it appeal to adults as well. It is short for a novel–58,000 words, just within the standard length range for a first time writer’s debut YA novel. I’ve found some sources that say first-time writers should aim for 50-70K for YA, and some that say 55-75K. I have already completed a draft of the (much longer) sequel, and just started the third book.

I started writing this book in the summer of 2002 when I was 18 and had started art college a few months before. Originally I drew character sketches and the page layout for an introduction–it was going to be a comic book. As my idea grew more complex, I realized that writing it would probably be quicker than drawing it. Over the next year and a half, I came to re-discover the love I had had for writing as a kid. I finished the first draft of Captive Illusions in October 2003, a month before I turned 20, when I was still a teen, like the characters in the novel.

Within a few months after I started writing, however, I envisioned a much longer plot, which necessitated writing either several sequels, or a first novel of maybe 400K words. (So far, the first two books are roughly 200K). So after I finished the first draft of Captive Illusions, I started the next book, Hide and Seek. I have usually been hesitant to show anyone my work, because I knew it wasn’t yet as good as I could make it, but a few people have read parts or much of it and given me valuable feedback.

I haven’t been writing for the last 11 1/2 years straight. I let the project stagnate for much of that time. From maybe 2006-2010 I barely wrote a thing–opened up my digital file from time to time and edited a few parts, but had written my characters into a proverbial trench. I knew the main plot events for the rest of the series, but could not think of how to move the plot forward from where I was. My main problem, of course, was time. I was not stagnating in my own life–from when I was 18 until now, I went through and graduated art college, started a career in my chosen field, struggled with maintaining a career in my chosen field, practiced guitar and formed and performed in a metal band with my brother and some friends, found more work in my chosen field, had many jobs, made many friends, had many relationships, and moved around the country several times.

I’ve certainly grown intellectually and emotionally in the last decade plus (at least, I hope). I think that my writing has grown as well, but after dozens of edits, I hope the initial passion of the idea I thought of when writing about teens just a few years younger than I still shines through. I honestly don’t *feel* much different as a 30-year-old writing about teens than I did as an 18- and 19-year-old writing about teens. I actually relate to my characters far more now than I did back then, because I know them better. Over the last decade plus, I have grown with them and watched them change and learn and sometimes regress. They have opened themselves up to me in ways I had not previously envisioned. I just hope that as I explore their lives and journeys, my inner idea of how kids of their age and lifestyles would talk and act and react is still believable to kids who are that age now, and believable to future readers who are not yet teens. I hope I’m writing something that adults can enjoy but that will be helpful to people who are teenagers currently. When I was a teen, reading sci-fi helped me through troubled times. It helped me learn psychology and sociology, encouraged me to critically analyze my environment, and made me excited about the future. I want to be able to do the same for others.

At some point in the early-mid 2000s, in my early 20s, I lamented, “At this rate I won’t finish my novel until I’m 30!” Age 30 was a joke far-off time, because of course I would finish my novel before then! But I set it aside for a long time, until my mid-late 20s, when I lamented (re: stressed/freaked out), “OMG how can I possibly finish my novel by the time I’m 30?!” I took some steps back, considering everything else that I had done with my life, and that writing was (and still is) a labor of love, not something that makes me any money, and decided that having a solid edit of Book 1 agent-ready by age 30 was an acceptable goal. The more I read about the business, the more I realized that it would be silly to write a 400K word epic and expect to have any hope with an agent. So…my 30th birthday was a few days ago. I finished editing book one late at night the next day. I indulged myself by playing with fonts and formatting to make it look prettier than the 10-pt Times New Roman I use in my working master file, and exported a PDF to make myself feel all spiffy. But I convinced myself to do one more read-through for proofreading, so I loaded it on my phone so I could read it while lying in bed next to my sleeping girlfriend. I should point out that she has been extremely supportive of my writing endeavor, and helpful. I have been reading my novel to her aloud. She is interested in the story, and is also honest in her feedback, both positive and negative. I have now read her more than anyone else has read, and it is extremely relieving, and conducive to the writing process, to have someone to talk about my characters with. Until recently, they mostly lived only in my head.

So now I have proofread Captive Illusions, which is a good thing because I cleaned up a bit more prose in the process, clarifying certain events, adding or subtracting phrases here and there to ensure consistency. I’ll be awaiting feedback, while researching the business and continuing with the sequels. It’s not exactly what I envisioned when I was 18, but I can still say with honesty…I just turned 30 and I finished writing my first book and it feels good.

two thirds through editing my first book

I’m 2/3 of the way through my final editing pass of Book 1 of the young adult science fiction romance series that I’ve been working on for years. Book 1 has maintained the same basic plot and themes but has undergone numerous changes as I extended the story and developed the characters.

Next steps after I finish editing book 1: send to friends/writing groups for critique, begin querying agents, edit book 2, continue writing book 3.

I’m still conflicted about whether I should attempt to publish book 1 on its own, or combine it with one or several of the following books and publish them as one long novel (or maybe two long). On one hand, I’m a bit concerned that book 1 is too short and does not have enough plot and action. It does have a definite climax and resolution, but the resolution is intentionally open-ended to lead into the sequel. There are definite action sequence but in general book 1 is character-driven and heavy on dialogue. From what I’ve looked up, length-wise, book 1 is on the short end of the acceptable range in the young adult genre for a new writer’s first novel–55K words. This all encourages me to lean toward lengthening it, by combining it with book 2. However, Book 2 as it currently stands is 150K words, and I’m pretty sure 200K words is absurdly long for a first time writer to hope to publish.

My plan for now is to see how a small group of test readers reacts to the current, short version of book 1. If the general consensus is that it’s lacking, I’ll lengthen it; if not, I’ll consider it a complete book.

My self-imposed deadline for finishing book 1 is in just a few days. I’ve edited it many times over the years that I’ve let the project languish and picked it back up. Now that I’m working on it seriously, I’m making great time, comparatively. I’m excited to have a realistic goal that I am close to achieving!

Manifesto Tribute

“You’ve got to be kind”
was once writ by a great mind
I doubt he rests in peace
though in those words I believe

Reality’s more complicated–
between corrupted and complacent,
to mark the spot, the starting shot,
the race was grey, too low the pay
One to ten were the odds–
Oh fuck, I guess we lost
But the death of californication
starts a freshly balanced station

Oblivion’s a tempting treat
My misgivings won’t let me eat
For nine and twenty years I’ve fought it
The rise of every note’s revealed it
Screaming faces reveled in it
Bases dreamed now years abandoned
Bass and strings sound dear abandon
Face the speakers, ears–you’re scared to

For yesterday, we drink our poison–
come what may, we think we’re right on–
toast to memories, and dive in
Try to pray, relief’s denied us

Alive for duties far ahead,
survival strides on hard cement
To size this shoe with heart and head
will take a lifetime in the end

Image

References:

"You've got to be kind"
--Kurt Vonnegut
God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater

"The Grey Race"
--Bad Religion/Greg Graffin
song title and album title

"One time out of ten everything is perfect for us all"
--Modest Mouse/Isaac Brock
Bukowski (song)
Good News for People Who Love Bad News (album)

"We pulled the trigger but we forgot to cock
/on every single shot/oh, fuck it, I guess we lost"
--Modest Mouse/Isaac Brock
Parting of the Sensory (song)
We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank (album)

"Californication"
--Red Hot Chili Peppers/Anthony Keidis
song title and album title

The hero always dies

Many fiction stories have lucky heroes. They survive incredible odds and go on to accomplish an important mission. People learn behavior and human psychology and social norms from stories. Heroes are supposed to inspire us to greatness–they are unrealistic ideals that we can never fully achieve but to which we can constantly aspire.

However, I think we would do well if more stories were not unrealistic how-to-cheat-death guides, but guides on how to live well enough to die admirably.

We are all the heroes of our own stories, and we all die eventually. This part is conspicuously absent from many fictional heroes’ journeys. If we were privy to their last moments, or if their journeys ended them, perhaps we would take the lessons they teach us more seriously. Perhaps we would follow their ideals more closely. If they meet their ends by their own hands, perhaps we could learn to recognize and avoid such behavior. If they weren’t so lucky, perhaps we could learn how to more closely follow their ideals in the real world.

I believe that if we believe that we can be heroes, it gives us the strength to actually be heroes, but in order to retain the humility and perspective to actually live heroically, we have to remember that the hero always dies.

I was a Manic Pixie Dream Girl, by Laurie Penny (link to article)

I was a Manic Pixie Dream Girl, by Laurie Penny (link to article)

“I was a manic pixie dream girl. Now I’m busy casting spells myself. Men grow up expecting to be the hero of their own story. Women grow up expecting to be the supporting actress in somebody else’s.”

I think this article is well-written, thought-provoking, and interestingly personal/emotional. I have often observed that female characters in popular movies/books tend to be much more shallow than male characters, and this article gives some intelligent reasons why that is and how to avoid it. I don’t agree 100% with some of the overarching seemingly-absolute generalizations, but overall I really appreciate this article. It also inspired me re-think some of my own writing.

Illogical Idioms

Today’s post is about funny wordplay.

Intentionally mixing together several different idioms into a seemingly unintentionally meaningless statement really cracks me up. I may have picked up this habit from my brother–we have very similar senses of humor. Actually I may have gotten it from my mother or sister as well. Here are some patchwork expressions that sound like they are supposed to mean something but are totally illogical and hopefully funny (I think I made these up myself but I may have picked up some of them from my brother without realizing it):

  • There’s more than one way to skin the cat’s pajamas
  • Don’t count all your hatched eggs in one basket
  • You got all your ducks in the same page
  • out of the forest and into the frying pan
  • I got my balls to the grindstone
  • You got by by the skin of the cat’s pajamas
  • Don’t run around like a chicken’s neck of the woods cut off
  • Take his opinion with a grain of salt in the open wound
  • Don’t count your chickens until the cows come home
  • Time to hit the needle in the haystack
  • Don’t beat a dead gift horse in the mouth
  • Curiosity killed the cat’s pajamas

Hmm…I’m a lot better at coming up with these on the fly than remembering them and writing them down. It’s usually a spur-of-the-moment joke, mid-conversation.

Also, it’s funny to think about what would happen if people interpreted the literal instead of figurative meanings of idiomatic expressions. Crossing cultural and language barriers would probably be the most common cause of this. My girlfriend recently told me that in Irish English, “taking the piss” has equivalent meaning to the American English “pulling my leg.” If an Irish person said to an American, “Are you taking the piss?” the American would probably just be confused and think that the Irish person was asking them about urinating.

When you see an idiom, you think of the intended/accepted meaning (in your culture), not the definition of each word. I realized that to force the literal instead of figurative meaning of an idiomatic expression to come to mind, you just have to alter one or a few words of the expression. Just like a non-native English speaker might if they did not memorize the expression exactly correctly. The change can be subtle–just enough to make the listener stop and think. It’s funnier if the listener/reader understands what it’s *supposed* to mean. Sometimes drastic changes to only one word of the expression, such as using the word’s opposite, are pretty funny. Examples:

  • You already finished your homework for the next two weeks? You’re really on top of the ball.
  • You’re really on the balls
  • Take my opinion with a few grains of salt
  • That’s the frosting on the cake
  • That’s a slice of cake
  • That really slaps the screw on the head
  • That’s all bridges under the water
  • That’s all water over the bridge
  • Wow, your uncle died? That’s a heavy shit.

It amazes me how versatile the word “shit” is, and how subtle differences in usage can alter its meaning so drastically. Example: it’s common to refer to music as being “heavy,” at least in metal and electronic dance music.  (Kind of hard to describe what “heavy” music means…low pitch, prominent and complicated/fast drums especially bass drum and low toms, heavily distorted/overdriven guitars). You might say about a new metal song a friend plays you, “man, that’s some heavy shit.” A live DJ about to play a really bass- and drum-driven song might say to the crowd, “Alright, I’m about to drop some heavy shit on you.” I would love to see the audience’s reaction if a DJ said, “I’m about to drop a heavy shit on you,” or “I’m about to drop the heavy shits on you.” Differences in plurality and article totally change the meaning, from figurative (very desirable in the case of the DJ–very intense song) to literal (very undesirable in the case of the DJ–massive human excrement).

All this shit’s a lot funnier hearing it in conversation than seeing it analyzed and explained. Kind of kills the joke. It’s funny spur-of-the-moment, but also interesting to think about from a linguistic perspective.

Thinking about these shits really splits me up. It totally assassinates me. :p

Novel progress Sat March 16 2013

180,000 words. 361 pages. First chapter of book 3 of what will be a 5-book series.

However, I still need to write four more chapters in book 2–I wrote through the end of the main plot and skipped the sub-plot chapters until now. Book 1 needs heavy re-writing and revision; book 2 needs some.

Still, I’m happy with my progress.

My writing has gone *much* faster since I started writing the sub-plot chapters. These characters are less important, less defined, and their plot threads are much less concrete in my head. I’ve had a detailed plan for the main story in my head for years, and have taken extensive notes on it. The four protagonists are well-developed so I have fewer options for what to write and how to keep them in character. I feel much freer writing about minor characters and developing their sub-plots, so it’s easier and maybe more creative in some ways. I’m only tied down by a loose sequence of events, as opposed to the main characters, for whom I thought of key events, personal revelations, challenges, etc., before I ever had time to write it all out.

Also, I’m letting myself write loosely now, relishing the idea of the first draft. I recently read Stephen King’s “On Writing: Memoir’s of the Craft,” and am currently reading “Nail Your Novel,” by Roz Morris. I don’t agree wholeheartedly with all the advice they give, but one thing I’ve strongly taken from both books is the importance to silence your inner self-critic when writing your first draft. Let the ideas out. It’s a right brain process. Word choice, entertaining prose, keeping characterization consistent, keeping timeline and the world consistent and cohesive–all that stuff can and should be edited later.

Allowing myself to make mistakes is freeing and enables my creativity to flow. It has always been difficult for me to ignore my self-critic. I wan’t to come up with a more symbolic, poetic, or interesting way to get my idea across. I check back through the novel to ensure consistency about who was wearing what, how many days it’s been, how far characters have traveled, etc. I don’t know why I did that as I was writing new passages. Clearly, it’s a prohibitive process. I suppose I am worried that anyone will read what I’m writing and lambasting me for missing details like that. But I’ve still rarely shared the bulk of my writing with anyone, so it’s an unfounded fear. It’s just made my writing take that much longer, delaying the time when I accomplish the real goal of actually sharing my writing with others.

My plan is to finish the four remaining chapters of book 2, allowing myself to write chapters of book 3 as inspiration strikes. My priority, however, will be completing the drafts of the first two books, so that I can go through them to make the sweeping edits I know they need. King and Morris both advised waiting months after writing the first draft before re-reading, so that it’s fresh and you’re more willing to delete the bad parts. The distance in time lessons your emotional attachment to them, hypothetically.

I agree with that theory but am not going to follow it 100%. I have been writing this series for more than a decade. I have made numerous revisions to numerous parts of it. I want to complete the first two books before really showing them–the first book is short, perhaps too short, and very limited in scope compared to the rest of the series. I plan to make it stand strongly on its own, but for now, it works more as a lengthy buildup to the second book. Also, the first book was almost entirely written when I was 18 and 19 years old. I think I was a good writer for my age, but I am happy to truthfully state that I think in the last decade my writing has improved significantly. Having written another 150,000 words since then, I feel the need to go back and make sure the prose is up to the quality of my current work. Especially since the beginning is what needs to hook a reader or agent or publisher–make them want to go along for the long ride.

So–parts of the series I’ve written recently–I’ve been writing pretty regularly since my 28th birthday November 5 2011. In fact, since then I have accomplished just over half of my total progress since undertaking this project in summer 2002. Roughly 95,000 words, 180 pages. Sixteen months to write 95K words is pretty good considering it took 8 1/2 years to write the first 85K words. (I have more free time now–graduated college, no longer performing in a band, work and sleep schedule more steady, etc.)

Regardless, the point is–parts of what I plan to edit in the coming months will be ten years old. Parts will be fresh. That will have to do, because my goal is to complete the second draft of books 1 and 2 by my 30th birthday this November. To have had my friends review and critique them. To have them agent-ready.

When I was finishing the first book shortly before I turned 20, I inwardly lamented that at this rate I wouldn’t finish the whole series until I was 30. That seemed like a far enough age and time that I could feel good about worrying it would take so long because of course it wouldn’t really take that long. Now I’ll be 30 in eight months, and I know I’m not going to have the whole series finished by then. It’s a big project–five books, half a million words. I sometimes wish I’d spent more time writing this throughout my twenties, prioritized it more, ignored the writer’s block and my inner critic and just done it! But then I wouldn’t have had the other awesome experiences that I did have (graduating college, performing in a band, getting a good job and steady sleep schedule). I am now in a point in my life where I can and do dedicate significant time to this project. I now am disciplined, and enough time that my discipline is effective in produce pages of results.

So yeah, overall I’m happy to honestly report that I’m pretty happy with my progress.

Engrossing beginnings

I’ve begun to devote serious time to not only writing my novel, but researching writing techniques and the writing industry. As I hope most new writers feel, I believe in my ideas–my themes and characters are important to me. I want to ensure I can spread my message once I finish the book. I’ve read some about querying agents, and some general novel-writing tips. I’ve seen it said that in some ways the first few pages of the novel are the most important–this is what hooks an agent, a publisher, and ultimately a reader and customer.

I generally think of the beginning of a novel as the place to establish the role of the narrator, main characters, setting in time/place/dimension/whatever, and tone/worldview. However, that’s not necessarily what draws a reader in. Based on my meandering thoughts, advice I’ve read recently, and recollections of high school and college writing classes, here’s what I think is important to keeping a reader interested:

  • Immediately create empathy for the main characters
  • Set up a conflict that the reader wants to see the protagonists overcome
  • Show the reader the protagonists’ goals and motivations
  • Create a sense of mystery, intrigue, and suspense so that the reader wants to know what happens next
  • As a philosophical science fiction reader and writer, I think the beginning of a novel also ought to establish key symbols and themes, as well as introduce the fictional expansive world

I think it is difficult for the beginning of a novel to emotionally entice a reader (empathy, motivation, conflict, mystery) while simultaneously fulfilling the opening’s structural duty (setting the tone, role of the narrator, introducing characters, introducing setting). From what I’ve read, it sounds like the publishing industry has become increasing oversaturated and cutthroat in recent years, so to convince an agent that your book has a chance of success, the agent wants to see you do something new and original from the outset. Agents, apparently, want to see a hook.

So to aid me in succeeding in creating a strong beginning in my own writing, I grabbed a handful of books off my shelf to see how they did it. I picked books that are some of my favorites, and books that were commercially successful. I also made an effort to find weaknesses in these books. Not necessarily that they ought to be changed, but what worked for these successful authors at the time these books were published may not work for a first-time writer in the current writing/publishing climate.

Warning: minor spoilers ahead. My bullet points are summaries so may not make much sense to someone who hasn’t read the books. Here’s what I found:

Hooks / new and innovative concepts in beginning of first chapter / engrossing conflicts, motivations, mystery, empathy

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, by Philip K Dick, 1968

  • Penfield mood organ
  • owning animals and ersatz animals
  • World War Terminus
  • hunting andys, bounty hunter/cop
  • Mercerism, grasping the handles, empathy box
  • Weakness—very confusing, and somewhat sexist. Husband is in control, ungrateful wife spends husband’s money, wife is emotionally unstable, husband is cold and calculating. I’ve read many of PKD’s books and observed stereotypical females in many of them. He had a letter-writing exchange with Ursula LeGuin (in the 1970s I think) that was published in a science fiction magazine, in which she accused him of being sexist and creating shallow female characters (my paraphrase). This seemed to make an impact, as the female characters in his later books are deeper and more unique.

The Magicians, by Lev Grossman, 2009

  • First line! “Quentin did a magic trick. Nobody noticed.” Great!
  • Romantic/dramatic conflict between Quenton, James, and James’s girlfriend Julia.
  • Will they get into school of their choice?
  • Realism! In dialog and description. Unexpectedly familiar and personal. Creates empathy
  • Witty dialog between longtime friends—sarcasm, quotes, references, sex, and facetiousness
  • Desire/challenge/motivation is immediately staged—Quentin is not happy and wants to be. This is one of the simplest and most overdone motivations/conflicts, but the first few pages are so well written that this cliche is not bothersome. The rest of the novel is engrossing and unique enough that Quentin’s own search for happiness is unique and mindblowing, far from cliche
  • Description of Fillory novels three pages in, after the protagonist’s problem and desire and all the previous has been set. What could be a boring “book within a book” is tolerable because the first few pages were so engrossing
  • 6 pages in: “the real problem with being around James was that he was always the hero. And what did that make you? Either the sidekick or the villain.” Quentin’s MO is that he feels unimportant and wants to be center stage. This sentence should be earlier in the chapter. We’ve all been there; everyone can empathize with feeling upstaged by someone else, wanting to be more noticeable
  • Weakness—oh shit another kids’ novel about magic. Cashing in on Harry Potter, Twilight, Golden Compass, Narnia, etc. Bo-ring, I already read that! This is not the case with The Magicians but people might pass it up believing so. Good thing there is sex and mean witty sarcasm and gritty realism first. Also, the synopsis on the back cover and the three pages of praise at the beginning of the book helped to convince me that this was not simply a Harry Potter clone.

Neuromancer, by William Gisbon, 1984

  • Prose style – cool and counterculture yet sophisticated
  • First sentence – sky was the color of television tuned to a dead channel. Creative description and sets the mood: the sky (re: heaven/aspirations/promise) is the color of a dead fantasy. This is a dystopia, a world of hopelessness and cynicism
  • Many new characters/concepts/brands/products: Case, the Chat, the Sprawl, drug use joke, professional expatriates, not hearing words in Japanese, Ratz bartending, prosthetic arm, draft Kirin beer, teeth East European steel, Lonny Zone’s whores, tall African with tribal scarred cheeks in naval uniform, Wage and his joeboys with business for Case, affordable beauty and ugly smile, Ratz calls Case an “artiste” and “Herr Artiste”, Case tells the hooker to fuck off, her insulting “spitting” gesture well-described, the moment of silence, “Chinese invented nerve-splicing” according to a drunken Australian, Case disagreeing and feeling bitter—ALL IN THE FIRST PAGE!
  • Immediately following that introduction of the world and the people (who are essentially scenery/NPCs) is specific information about the main character Case: the narrator informs the reader (presumably through Case’s eyes in response to his sentiment that it’s BS that the Chinese invented nerve-splicing) that the Japanese were actually the neurosurgery masters. Black clinics of Chiba, Case suffered damage in a Memphis hotel, dreaming of cyberspace, taking speed, Night City, the matrix, cyberspace cowboy, wake alone in a capsule in a coffin hotel in bedslab and temperfoam reaching for nonexistant console, Case’s “girl” Linda Lee, he laughed more with her according to Ratz but now he will end up as spare parts in the clinic tanks i.e. dead, Ninsei crowd
  • Mystery/intrigue/suspense: Gibson dropped a heavy world on us with tons of new terminology but it’s engrossing—what is this world? Why doesn’t Case smile anymore? Why does he shrug off his “girl” and a prostitute? What damage did he suffer in Memphis hotel? Why is someone after him? Why does he stay in “coffin hotels” dreaming of cyberspace console?
  • Potential weakness: Beginning of first chapter is a lot of exposition and description of environment and random people in it. There is a sense of mystery slowly unfolding, but that mystery is the nature of this world, not of a character. In 1984 this cyberpunk world was new and exciting. Such an introduction would not be nearly as engrossing today. Notice how in Gibson’s second book Count Zero, he started describing the main character’s challenges and life and goals, having been thrust into the middle of a conundrum already. His world had been established in his first successful book—now he needed to make the reader see why they should care about not just the world but the people who inhabited it.
  • The big weakness here is that it’s very confusing and risks aliening readers

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, by Stieg Larsson, translation copyright 2008 (original copyright 2005)

  • Mystery! What do the flowers represent? Where do they come from? Immediately draws the reader in with intrigue
  • Why are these two men the only ones to whom this mystery matters? Why does no one else know about it? What is its importance?
  • Sense of significance and history—they are both old and this has been going on for 30 to 40 years
  • Weakness—why should we care about these people? The writer can’t assume that the reader cares about flowers. We have nothing invested in these characters so what do we care what their mystery is.

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? and Neuromancer quickly became two of my favorite books when I read them as a teenager. I’ve reread both and they have lasting appeal for me–I still think they’re both excellently written, thought-provoking, etc. I read The Magicians about a year ago and was blown away. It’s one of the best books I’ve read in a long time. The most realistic book about magic that I have ever read. For the most part, the characters were not idealized, nor were they stereotypes of evil. The “hero” was extremely flawed, moreso than his friends, and his cowardice becomes more apparent as the book draws on. The symbolism portrayed the themes perfectly. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo I would not say is as excellent as the previous three, but it was extremely commercially successful (Swedish and English movies were made based on it). It is primarily a thriller, which I don’t usually read, but what thrillers aim to do is hook an audience and create suspense, and this book did that very well.

I also evaluated the beginnings of For Whom the Bell Tolls, The Hunger Games, and Dune. To summarize, I think For Whom the Bell Tolls and Dune are both excellent books, but their first few pages would not be as noticeable, engrossing, or picked up for publishing as quickly if they were published today. Hemingway spends a lot of exposition describing scenery, and Dune introduces characters, concepts, and politics that take some time to understand. I really enjoyed The Hunger Games but I wouldn’t say it is as technically remarkable an achievement as the previous two books. However, I think the first few pages do a more successful job of hooking a reader, creating mystery, and grabbing the attention of a potential reader, agent, or publisher, for this day and age. This is probably because Suzanne Collins wrote it with the market of this day and age in mind and knew what she had to do.

I’d love to know other people’s thoughts on all this. Agree or disagree with my appraisals of these seven books? How so? Any suggestions of other books with particularly strong, or weak, beginnings, to check out as examples?